Kimly's Trade

Why I am Thankful for my Failure

11168856_10153348741096970_5894260610798824795_nToday is the final day of a fundraising campaign that didn’t reach its goal, and we are thrilled about it failing.

There are a couple of reasons the failure  brings us pleasure. First, it is a reminder that God has called us to walk by faith in all things. The phrase, “One Step at a Time” or “Walk by Faith” are quickly tossed to people who are facing difficulties. If a friend tells you their child has been diagnosed with a rare disease, if a coworker shares the shame of an upcoming bankruptcy, or if a close friend admits to an addiction it is natural to offer hope by reminding them to walk in faith. We know that while our loved ones can’t see their way out of the darkness–walking through it one step at a time is all that is required.

Through this experience, we have been reminded that the same is true for good things. If an adventurous soul wants to accomplish their dreams, they still have to walk by faith and shower themselves with the same grace they would offer to someone who feels like their life is in chaos. Faith walking is not reserved to the chaotic life, it’s an everyday calling–for ordinary souls to achieve their daring dreams.

The second reason we are thankful we didn’t reach our targeted goal is because the goal got better.

When we realized we weren’t going to raise enough money to hire an experienced fictional editor AND pay for self publishing, we had to make a choice. It was going to have to be one or the other. Trust me, it wasn’t an easy decision. If we used the money we raised to hire an editor, we may end up with a polished manuscript–but how would we get it to those who had made pledges? And if we decided to forgo the editor and publish the manuscript in its raw state, would we be missing a step that could make the work more appealing and convey its message more clearly?

After praying and rehashing the situation, we decided that there was much more to be gained {and risked} by using the funds to hire a seasoned editor, even if it meant we wouldn’t have the necessary funds to self-publish. We decided that while self-publishing may be where we eventually land, we didn’t have to go to that place without first getting the manuscript into the best shape possible, then pursuing an agent and publishing house.

I don’t read my writing the way other people read it, so I cannot imagine an agent or a publisher seeing its value, but because we didn’t raise the money to do both, I am taking a step of faith that I would have never taken.

It’s much easier to walk down a well lit path. Heck, I even turn on a light to make the short journey down the hallway in my house. It’s normal and we will always strive to see more and know more–it’s in our nature. But, oftentimes when it comes to the dearest things in our life, the braver choice, the choice that brings the most growth and the greatest joy involves walking down a dimly lit path.

Follow this LINK for more information about Kimly’s Trade 🙂

Kimly's Trade · spiritual growth

Ready to Quit, After Four Short Days

Have you ever noticed how as soon as we take that first step in faith, we begin to feel like we are on the wrong path? Ironically, we find ourselves wanting proof where God has called us to walk in faith.

Is it just me? Or can you relate? We can be completely confident in the thing we are supposed to do, but as soon as we hit minor hurdles, we begin to wonder if we were mistaken and entirely off base.

thSome of us begin to search for a sign or an indication that we are on the right track. If you think like me, if you find yourself wanting to please others, your first response when feeling insecure may be to look at how others are responding. Suddenly we get trapped into believing the indication of whether we are on the right or wrong path can be measured by the approval of others. Using the gauge of approval places us in constant turmoil, especially if someone we value silently withholds that all powerful nod.

Tuesday night I started a fundraising program for the fictional novel I wrote and am now rewriting and editing. Four nights later I came home from a eleven hour day at the restaurant and told my husband I shouldn’t be raising money or editing the novel. Tired from a busy day? Perhaps. But it was more than just food server exhaustion.

What had happened in four short days?

  • In four short days I saw my possible failure at this venture as being more humiliating than the shame God already helped me walk through in the past.
  • In four short days I began to take my eyes off the editing and fundraising God was calling me to do and place them on the response of others.
  • In four short days I forgot the importance of being obedient to God over pleasing anyone else.
  • In four short days I was willing to trade confidence from the Lord for “Likes” on a Link.
  • In four short days I forgot that walking by faith actually meant…WALKING. BY. FAITH.

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I have a welcome critic who will most likely call me out on posting this blog. Writing a piece about the need to stop relying on “Likes”, Comments, or Shares, while simultaneously placing it online where other people can give a nods of approval is ironic.

I gave birth to the welcome critic over 24 years ago, and on that evening I guess I invited his lifelong critique, however, at this time posting an ironic blog about faith is part what God is calling me to do as a statement of faith.

There is more at stake in what I am doing than just getting a book published. It’s a matter of doing the things God has called me to do every single time. It may be big, or it may be small–size TRULY doesn’t matter. Obedience matters.

Here’s the thing, the steps I took towards total rebellion to the Lord and the breaking of my marriage vows started off very miniscule. They were tiny little steps of disobedience long before they were outright strides. And late last night, after talking and crying with my husband about the fears I have for continuing with this project, it all came back to that. I heard myself say it before I even fully grasped it, “I can never live in disobedience to the Lord again.”  You guys, it was awful. Being in that sin wasn’t pleasurable and exciting, it was terrifying and lonely. I never want to be out of His will again. So, if taking tiny steps will keep me in His will, then tiny steps I will take.

For more information on my fictional novel, Kimly’s Trade, please visit our Indiegogo campaign by CLICKING ON THIS LINK.